Mars and Venus parent

Never have Drew's and my parenting styles been so glaringly at odds than THIS past week.

Brant's girl, Ellie, has had a change of heart and though she says she loves B to death....she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him. Brant was caught off guard by this unexpected break up on Friday and so....it seemed time for me to amp up my game and jump in with all my best mothering know how.

I gave Brant plenty of opportunity to talk about how he was feeling. I tried to be sympathetic, but reassuring. I spent lots of time rubbing his back, giving him hugs and saying things like, "It's okay to be sad, Brant. It's completely normal to feel down. I know how much this hurts....you feel misled. You weren't expecting this. It all has nothing to do with you, I'm sure. You're the best. "

And just like June Cleaver would do, I served up B's favorite foods, let him shoot hoops for hours....told him that every thing would work out and that his heart would be okay after awhile.

Drew?  Drew gave it till Monday morning, then strode around the house in his boxers, singing at the TOP of his lungs, something that went like this:

"Go and get another one. Go and get another one.

There's a better one out there somewhere. 

So (dramatic flourishes here), JUST...GO....and get another one."

Ahh.....the male coping strategy in all its glory. 

Could men and women be ANY more different?

Look who we found...

The boys named him Bill. 

(Long story. Tell ya later.)

If, per chance, you need a sweet kitten named Bill, just say the word and he's yours.

Really.    The boys will adjust.

How DO you spell that???

Back in February, Will placed 4th in our school district spelling bee and so had the privilege of competing at the regional ACSI Spelling Bee down in Atlanta. After a ton of prepwork and hours of drilling by his freakily competitive mother (who has obviously never gotten over misspelling MARTYR in the Charlotte, NC Scribbs district bee of 1978), Will was humming along and on a roll....

That is, until the 7th round, when that pesky word describing "a person that specializes in aerodynamics" was called. I'm sure you all know an aerodynamicist....doesn't every one?

Oh well, Will, NO worries. Dad and I are completely proud of you, now that our palms have dried out, and lest you ever doubt it, just refer to that new Merriam-Webster's Dictionary we hooked you up with. Because at our house, nothing says loving like a big book of words.

Welcome home, Melyn!

Our friends, Beth and Terry, just got back from China with their sweet new daughter, Melyn. We joined the welcoming party at the airport for a neat night of celebration.

Beth and Terry felt led to adopt and accepted the referral for Melyn at almost the exact time Drew and I accepted Amos's and Kalee's referrals in December 2007. Beth and I have propped each other up over the last 15 months and to have someone close by who knows exactly how I feel about the waiting....and about all those questions that don't have answers, has been a complete comfort to me.

Fear can keep people from doing the things that they know are right and that God calls them to do. Life at a certain point can get really comfortable---helping the poor and the widowed and the orphaned is any thing but. I can't wait to see how God blesses Beth and Terry for getting past their fears and reaching out to love an abandoned little girl that will now come to know that God is her true father.

Just a couple more....

In these pictures you can see Amos and Kalee as they are each read a note from me and see snapshots of themselves, probably for the first time.

Jay complained at me about the cards I chose for them.  One sounded too mushy, one not mushy enough.

Yeah, well....Jaybird.....when Hallmark starts making cards for the sons you've never met, who are stranded in an orphanage 3000 miles away, surviving on boiled eggs and rice, I'll be the first in line to buy them.  I promise.

   

More great pix of the new boys!

Snow Day

Parenting is not for sissies.

I've always felt deep down  that hatred and prejudice are learned, not innate, traits  so it was important to me and to Drew that we do our best to raise color-blind kids, something I hope we've done a decent job of.     

Back before we started the adoption process, I could say with fair certainty that our boys could not fathom that a person could be judged solely by their skin color.   This was something that they had only read about---something that had happened in our country's past or something that might happen somewhere else to someone else's family members.

Since we've been in process, Drew and I have tried to anticipate and talk through situations that our family might face once Amos and Kalee are here.  I  want Brant, Will and Jay to be prepared for the questions we might get, the looks...the double takes.....the reactions....the lack of understanding....changes in relationships.

 

But as much as I want the boys to be ready---I hate to see another layer of their sweet, sweet innocence stripped away.   It is hard and painful and embarrassing for me to have to share with them what our society is really like----to say out loud that prejudice is alive and well....and not just somewhere else in the world, but alive and well and thriving all around us.

Our youngest boy, Jay, overheard a phone conversation Drew and I had earlier in the week. We are considering a local move to put us closer to school, church and Drew's office and one of the houses we are checking out is located directly across from one of the big country clubs in town.

I could tell Drew was getting a little excited just thinking about being able to walk to the golf course and tennis courts....and well, the boys and I have been known to become pool rats in the summer months.......so....the proximity makes this house very tempting.   As we talked about what membership to such a club might cost, Drew quietly mentioned that we'd need to ask around and check the club policies.   It's a possibility that blacks---or white parents of black children---might not be allowed, errr......invited to join.

I'll spare you my indignant rant, but Jay's went something like this:

"WHAT????" 

"In 2009??"

"Are you SERIOUS??"

"With a black President???"

"You have GOT to be kidding me!"   

Any thing I managed to stammer out couldn't even begin to explain to Jay why things are the way that they are.  In fact, every thing I said sounded completely ridiculous------Jay's disbelief and indignation were completely founded.  There's no explaining away ignorance.

But sitting in on his school's chapel service commemorating Black History Month today really cemented for me why Jay is feeling so confused.    Through the litany of poems and speeches and biographical sketches, it became clear that he's been taught and is being taught that racism and segregation are things of America's past history.   He'd already filed them in his 5th grade brain as "Done" and "Over" ----that is, until the country club membership came up.  Then myth collided with reality.

I wish I could keep Jay and his brothers innocent forever.  I do.  I wish I could shield them from injustice and unfairness.    I wish I could encourage Jay to believe every thing his teachers say and what the textbooks print in black and white.  I wish our world was the way he believed it was.

I will continue to pray that someday it might be.  I'll pray that God will change hearts and attitudes.   I'll encourage sweet, Baby Jay to pray with me.  And for now, I hope he will file racism and segregation away in the "To Change--Someday" part of his brain....

  

New pix

Usually I'm really happy and excited when I get to see a new picture of Amos and Kalee.  

This time though, I feel sad.  Sad and heartsick....

Unforgettable...

Brant had his first date tonight.

By his account, every thing was perfect.

By his brothers' accounts, Ellie looked like a movie star.

Drew is still accounting for the cost of the whole event....but when I look at the pictures, I think that whatever the amount, the smiles are sooooo completely worth it.

Gotta laugh to keep from crying....

Except for some books and toys that need to come out of the attic, Amos's and Kalee's room is ready for them.   I am super-pleased with the paint work my artist friend, Susan, did on their furniture and I love the way their bedding and slipcovers turned out, too.

As I was dusting and picking up a bit in there over the weekend, it became pretty obvious that Will was not impressed with the mattresses I chose.

"Ahhhhhh.....it'll be just like sleeping on the floor at the orphanage....."

 

Super Bowl Sunday

You might be all about the football.

You might be all about the commercials.

You might be all about the snacks.

Tonight, I am ALL about the half-time show.

I'm so completely devoted to Drew, don't get me wrong, BUT...should something happen to him in an incredibly sad and untimely way, or should he someday run off with one of his 137 Facebook girlies from high school with whom he's been reunited....then I'm packing everything up to become a Bruce Springsteen groupie.

Remind me to tell you about that Bruce Springsteen Fan Camp dream I had one time.

We were so close...

Drew and I received word today that adoptions have been suspended in Liberia.  President Sirleaf's Monday address to her people below touches on the reasons why:

The gross mismanagement of the adoption program (which aims primarily at placing orphans in homes in the United States) by both Liberian and U.S. personnel in Non-Government Organizations is the subject of a report by a special committee which I appointed for this purpose.    Essentially, we have discovered that many of the children in these orphanages are not, in fact, orphans but children taken from their living parents on the promise of support and a good life in America.   Moreover, we found that young children were being sexually abused at some of these orphanages, while others---- including officials of government---- have used the program to extort money from potential adoptors.      We have thus suspended the adoption program until laws, policies and proper guidelines have been established and we have asked our concerned friends and partners in the United States to be patient as we try to correct the serious malpractices which exist.      We expect the National Social Welfare Policy and National Adoption Act,  which will be submitted to you during the course of the year, will provide guidance and prevent such abuses in the future.

   

Every thing we have been told indicates that our agency operates above reproach and it is not under any sort of investigation for wrongdoing----our director is even doing her best to put a positive spin on this suspension.  Those of us waiting parents have been told what a GOOD thing this is for the protection of our children and how waiting for new laws to be enacted will prevent child trafficking or other abuses in the future.  Our director believes our agency is being used to expose darkness and evil and corruption in Liberia....that we're privileged to have been chosen for this job.

My brain hears her.  It all sounds completely reasonable enough.  If I suspend reality for a little while and put aside the agonizing fact that Amos and Kalee have been waiting in the orphanage 18 months....AND if I manage for a moment to get beyond the image of our dossier finally landing (in December!) on the desk of the social worker charged with writing up this last document of approval that we need....AND if I ignore the idea that it was our own agency's complaint of corruption (however correct) that was probably the one, last and final straw that broke the Liberian-adoption camel's back last week.....THEN my brain is able to hear her and I can get on board with what she's saying.

But my heart is a different story.  My heart just wants my little boys home.  My heart wants to do any thing......any...any.....ANY thing.  My heart can justify any thing, promise any thing, say any thing, maybe even pay any thing----to get them here. 

And....really, if I'm honest....my heart questions why God just won't finish this thing for me when I was acting in obedience to pursue it in the first place.   Dadgummit, my heart hurts.  And my heart is having a hard time believing that any thing that keeps Amos and Kalee in that orphanage for even one more day could ever be a GOOD thing.

That's a lot of candles...

Drew says all he wants for his birthday is his Africans.

Not sure that new iPod will measure up.....but hope you can have a happy 41st anyway, Drewbie.

New Pix of the new guys!

House Divided

I am NOT a happy camper.

Drew, on the other hand, IS. (And increasingly, unbearable.)

Our boys continue to be conflicted.

Unthinkable

UNC 89   Wake Forest 92

Heels drop to 0-2 in conference play

My name is Kelly and.....

....I'm addicted to the internet.

THERE.     I said it.   The new year has got me all introspective.......   

It seems that between the crashing and burning of our old computer before Christmas and all our crazy holiday travel and spotty wi-fi connections along the way, I've come to realize that I like being online.      A LOT.        And I don't like going without email access.....NOT ONE BIT.   So could I have some sort of problem???   

Drew votes yes.  Emphatically.    He likens this to my Afrin addiction of 1995.  

Yes...seriously, you read that right.  Embarrassing as it is to admit, I WAS addicted to Afrin nasal spray for about 6 months.  It started innocently enough...we were in Dallas.....I was pregnant with Will, got sick and the doc recommended I try Afrin for a few days to help my congestion.   Little did I know that after more than a few days, your body becomes addicted and your sinuses go haywire---completely dependent on your giving them MORE Afrin.

I can hear you snickering out there---what a silly, suburban, goofball thing to be addicted to, but I have to admit.....things got a little weird after a few weeks.   I couldn't live without the stuff.  I would get super congested if I didn't use it and the relief was amazing when I did use it, so I got caught in a vicious cycle over months and months.   Got to where I even felt panicky if I didn't have an Afrin bottle with me at all times.....hid it in the glove box, had it upstairs, downstairs.   I smile when I think about having to stop for a bottle on the way home from the Mesquite Rodeo one time.

Drew didn't think it was funny.  AT ALL.  He staged his own form of an intervention and this was back when we didn't even know what an intervention was....but anyway, he did it....with love and concern and only a little disdainful sneering.

At any rate, I went cold turkey.   Pulled an all-nighter to get over it...and this addictive personality has never touched the stuff again.    

Now...this internet problem of mine is a whole nother issue raising all sorts of questions in my head.    

Me, scared: "Might I really be addicted to hitting send and receive?"    

Me, feeling guilty:   "What else would I/could I/should I being doing with my time???"

Me in denial:  "What's wrong with checking email just one more time before I get dressed/brush my teeth/carpool/eat lunch/carpool/walk the dog/cook dinner/walk the dog/brush my teeth/go to bed? Huh?  Huh?"

Yeah, well....I'm looking at myself...and my internet issues in 2009.

In the meantime, like Drew always says, it's probably a good thing I've never smoked crack!

Happy new year!

Had to break down and look up a translation of  "auld lang syne" for the occasion.  Turns out the Robert Burns poem later set to music is a tribute to "the old long ago."     

Heck, if I could remember my old long ago...I'd make a toast too!   

My guys and I are off to New York later today and I can hardly wait.  Drew completely surprised me on our anniversary with plans for this trip and we decided to let the boys tag along since Will and Jay have never seen NYC and Brant doesn't remember his early years as a big-city, bagel-eating, grass-fearing urban boy.

I seriously think this is going to be a great trip.....what's a little snow blowing in on 40-mph winds, huh??   

So, to the Big Apple...and to a slowing of my brain atrophy in 2009----

Cheers!

The short list

Drew says all he wants for Christmas is his Africans.

Me, too, Drewbie.

Me, too.

'Tis the season...

So........God and a friend who wrote today have really gotten me thinking about the complete craziness of this Christmas season.

I have spent a TON of time selecting and sending Christmas cards, decorating the house, browsing for presents online and shopping for gifts in stores....I've been to concerts and parties, cookie exchanges, ornament exchanges....you name it. I've baked like crazy for teachers and neighbors...for the mailman, the paper guy...the sweet lady who runs our drycleaners. I've wrapped and trimmed and decked and wassail-ed....

But what have I done to prepare my heart for the celebration of Christ's birth?

Dear God, don't let me miss it! Don't let me miss your gift---THE gift you've given me. The one that encourages me, that comforts me, that keeps me going....the gift that will save me. God, help me see the cross when I see the manger. Help me see---and know---your most indescribable gift. Amen.

Will is 13!

Always the comedian

I have really tried to protect Brant, Will and Jay from all my worries and anxieties about the adoption and the crazy-long process we've been in for a year. Generally.....mostly......I think I'm able to keep them from recognizing the stress that I'm feeling, but....sometimes my less-rational, less-sane side emerges.

Like on a recent lazy Saturday. I let my guard down a little bit while it was just me and Will. I was worrying (ok, ruminating) out loud, saying things like:

"What if the new boys get here and don't like us?
"What if the new boys don't really even WANT to be adopted?"
"What if they're happy right where they are?"
"What if they don't want to live with us in a white family?"


Without missing a beat, Will said...

"Better save your receipt."


Love that child. Even when he's irreverent.

Check 'em out....

Dateline: Monrovia

Jana, another mom adopting through our agency, is in Monrovia this week picking up her new little girl, Jamesetta. While there, Jana's taking lots of pictures, making notes and observing every thing she can about the kids that remain in the orphanage as they wait for their turn to go home.

Here's what she says about our new boys:

Amos sometimes plays soccer together with a boy named Jubah. Amos is like a comedian---he likes to make people laugh.


Kalee is very sensitive. He doesn't like to be touched a lot. He always has slippers (flip flops) on and will even sleep with them on. Kalee doesn't like to be hit or bumped into or anything. He spends alot of time around me. He keeps his things around himself so no one else can get them.


Oh, how I want to introduce Amos to Brant, Will and Jay---knowing that he will probably, immediately and completely fit right in with those three yahoos!!

And oh, how I long to hold and comfort Kalee and to tell him that he'll never have to hide his things or sleep with his shoes on again.

Adoption news.....

The director of our adoption agency emailed today to say that our adoption cases were being presented to the Liberian Minister of Health for his approval. This is one of the last, BIG steps in the process and his approval is absolutely necessary for our adoptions to proceed.

The MOH's staff members will review our (phonebook-like) dossier paperwork and will also bring in Amos's and Kalee's father for an interview so that a more thorough case history can be completed. All of this is done to make sure that the adoption was done to certain standards and to assure that the boys' biological father understands the process completely and was not coerced into giving up the boys in any way. After the case history is written up by the MOH's office, our agency will receive a copy. This will give me and Drew more details about the boys' background, their father's reasons for relinquishment, how their mother died and hopefully, more details about how and when they were split up.

As I have come to know God better over the last years, I have learned more and more about His power. I know that He is in control of every thing and is capable of doing absolutely ANYTHING.

So..........it follows that had God wanted our adoption to proceed any more quickly, He would have simply deemed it so. I am a fool to think that any thing I have done or any thing I could still do....any call that I could make, any email I could send..... any string I could pull....could affect God and His plan for this adoption.

Am I praying that God will allow the adoption to move forward? Absolutely. Am I telling every one I know to pray that the Minister of Health's heart will be softened toward our boys' adoption and that he'll provide his necessary approval? You bet. But really, when it comes down to it, God has got it all figured out.

He is in control. And I am not.

TGIF

Today was one of the best days on recent record! I got to spend the morning with my sweet friend, Jena, and to meet her two new kids recently adopted from Uganda. Kaia and Kendric have been in the US just three weeks, but I'm pretty sure they've been in Jena's heart for a long, long time.

There aren't a ton of people I truly aspire to be more like....but I've decided I want to be Jena when I grow up.

Check out her blog when you have a second-- www.packofpenners.blogspot.com

New pictures of the new boys!

One by one...

.........the steps in our adoption process are slowly being checked off the list.

Today we got word that Amos's and Kalee's passports had been issued. This is great news and puts us one step closer to bringing them home.

Don't these passport pictures make them both look so serious?? I'm pretty sure they were told not to smile for the camera. I'm just glad to see that they look like they've gained some weight!

Bum Knee Babe

I'm sad to report that Babe fractured his right knee cap during a travel ballgame on Sunday afternoon. The play looked routine enough...he made a nice hit up the middle and ran to first base. But when he stopped short, his knee buckled.

According to the orthopedist that checked Jay out (during his 7th ER appearance-aggh!), when athletes run and then stop quickly, the leg muscles slingshot back causing a lot of strain on the tendons that attach those muscles to the kneecap. In Babe's case, the tendons won and the knee cap lost--and almost tore in two. (ouch!)

Sooooo....fall ball is over for Jay and he'll be in a cast for about 4 weeks. He's hoping to be good to go for basketball season right around the corner. 'Til then, riding the elevator at school is pretty cool and the attention is not bad either!

Meet Kit: The prettiest girl I know

I know she looks like a weimaraner, but Kit is actually my year-old silver Lab.

Uh-huh---silver.

I don't understand all that breeding and factoring, Punnet-square-mumbo jumbo that results in silver lab puppies, but when I first saw one I was in love.

Predictably, the AKC is kinda snooty and doesn't yet recognize silver and charcoal labs, so Kit is officially registered as chocolate, but...she's not......at all.

Oh, if only I could stop traffic the way Kit does....

Drum roll, please.......

Amos and Kalee are now officially Dixons!!!!

A scanned copy of our court decree arrived in my inbox today. It says, in part...

"IT IS HEREBY ORDERED AND DECREED: that from this date hereto and henceforth, said children shall for all intents and purposes be the adopted children of the Petitioners....

...and shall be called, known and regarded as AMOS LARMAH DIXON and KALEE LARMAH DIXON as if the children had been born out of the natural bodies of the Petitioners in the bonds of Holy Matrimony."

Drew and I have 5 sons. God is so very good.

Partying with a purpose

I'm all for birthday parties and I love to celebrate my kids' special days, but accepting all those gifts that roll in? Well...not so much...

This year, Jay and his BFF, Josh, partied with a purpose! They asked their friends to celebrate their 11th birthdays by bringing presents to the kids in Amos's and Kalee's orphanage instead. Check out the birthday boys above. They collected 12 books, 28 t-shirts and 106 pairs of underwear that will ship to Monrovia courtesy of Jay's and Josh's very generous friends. Thanks, y'all!

Baby Jay is....11!

I must have blinked.....

What's with that really looong blog name, you ask?

Well....it goes way back.

I used to read a lot of parenting magazines when the boys were little. I thought they'd hold all the secrets to being a perfect mom and raising perfect kids. I finally gave up and canceled every subscription when I realized that they were actually just giving me a whole bunch of stuff to worry about. I decided I didn't need to borrow trouble.

I did get at least ONE great idea from reading an article about reducing sibling rivalry. The expert doing the writing suggested that families come up with a cheer or chant or pledge that the kids could do together....something easy to remember and something that they would do only with each other.

The expert postulated that in good times and bad, having your kids pledge their devotion to each other would go a long way to foster positive feelings. The idea was to get them to see that getting along with siblings wasn't easy, but no matter what, they were together as family for the long haul.

Now...if you were hanging out in our cul de sac yesterday, you'd realize that I am any thing but a perfect mom. During some crazy football/driveway game the boys had made up (but loosely modeled after "keep-away") the name-calling was unbelievable! And hurtful. And not at all Christ-like. You'd have wondered if those three yahoos even had a mother.

Brant thought Jay was being a baby; Jay thought Brant was manipulating the rules mid-way. Will thought they both needed to go to their rooms.

And they DID....but not until they apologized to each other, put their hands in a pile together and did the Dixon Brothers' Cheer. They didn't necessary like doing it and they certainly didn't sing it or rap it this time, but they did say it. And yep, you know where this is going.....the words of the cheer are...

Forever.
For always.
No matter what.
Dixons.
Brothers.

Simple words that do the trick.

FAQs

Top 10 Most-Frequently-Asked Questions about our pending adoption---

Us Dixons love to talk about the new boys, how we came to choose Liberia and about the nuts and bolts of the adoption process—no matter how slow it’s going! It’s amazing how many of the same questions come up over and over, and while we’re never tired of talking about it all and are so grateful for your interest, I thought it might be helpful to put some things down for the record...

1. How did you pick Liberia? Or is it Siberia? I have felt the pull to adopt for a long time. Drew was a little less enthusiastic at first, but even before we had our bio sons, we’d had several conversations about the possibility. For years after the boys were born, it was clear Drew and I had absolutely all the kids we could possibly handle! But as time has gone on and our boys have become more and more independent, Drew and I began feeling that God was calling us to do more to serve Him. We investigated adopting through the North Carolina foster care system in the fall of 2007, but as we learned more, we felt it probably wasn’t the right thing for us. Around this same time, our friends, Bob and Elizabeth in Charlotte, sent pictures of the boys they were adopting from Monrovia, Liberia. We did the research and never really considered adopting from any where else from that point on. The needs of the Liberian people, and particularly the tens of thousands of orphans, are so very desperate, we couldn’t ignore God’s lead to adopt any longer.

2. Where IS Liberia? Liberia is located on the west coast of Africa bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, Sierra Leone, Guinea and the Ivory Coast. Liberia was settled in the early 1800’s by free blacks from America, so their government and constitution are based on ours here in the US. It is slightly larger than the state of Tennessee...and was nearly decimated by a 15-year long civil ending finally in 2003.

3. You didn’t want a girl? Nope.

4. What are the boys’ names? Are you going to change them?? We don’t know yet. The oldest boy, Amos, is named after his biological father and he may feel strongly about hanging on to that important piece of his heritage. The younger boy is Kalee (pronounced kah-lee), perhaps a little too close to Kelly, but I’m not sure if it will create any confusion. IF they would like to choose a new “American” name, then Brant, Will and Jay have generated a long list from which to choose! (Sorry NBA fans, Drew and I have nixed LeBron & Kobe....and likewise, Isiah Thomas Dixon and Chris Paul Dixon.)

5. Are Amos and Kalee brothers? Yes, but they haven’t always lived together. Their mother died several years ago and their father is not able to support them. Amos lived with a neighbor for some time and Kalee lived with an aunt until they were both relinquished to the orphanage last fall. Drew and I hope to meet their father when we travel to pick up the boys.

6. How old are they? Our adoption agency believes that Amos is at least 6 and Kalee is about 4 years old. These ages are only a guess as most births in Liberia are not documented nor are birth certificates issued. We suspect that the boys are probably a little older...Amos might be as old as 8 or 9.

7. Do the boys speak English? Yes, or at least a version of it! English is the official language of Liberia so they already speak it and are learning to read and write a bit while they attend a half-day school program at their orphanage. There will be a language barrier, though, as we all get used to each other’s accents and differences in dialects. The new boys will probably understand us a lot better than we understand them at first!

8. Are Amos and Kalee going to attend school this year? Probably not immediately after their arrival, but it will all just depend on how the transition goes. Our agency director and some other adoptive parents have indicated that most Liberian kids that come to the states do well in school situations. Because our guys have lived in an orphanage, they are used to being around many other kids and will probably need the social contact with others. Our bio boys attend a wonderful Christian school here in Winston-Salem and the admissions office is holding spots for Amos and Kalee so that they will be available once the boys are here and settled.

9. When are they coming?? Oh, if only I knew...! What we thought was going to be a six-month wait is stretching on and on as the Liberian government re-evaluates its adoption policies and procedures. We’d love to have the new boys home by the end of 2008, but it’s hard to anticipate any sort of time frame at this point. I’ll keep you posted.

10. What are you and Drew going to do with FIVE boys?? Ummm....I’m not sure I’ve got a real solid answer to that question yet. Love on ‘em? Take things one day at a time? Do the best we can? Invest in a cow?

Meant to be...

When we started talking seriously about adoption last fall, Drew and I browsed hundreds of pictures of waiting children in all parts of the world. We knew we wanted to adopt an older child and we learned quickly that the situation in Liberia was desperate for hundreds of thousands of orphans there. When we came across Amos and Kalee on the Addy's Hope Adoption Agency webpage, we kept going back for another look, then another. Eventually, we felt as though God had put these boys in front of us and that they were meant to be our sons. In December, we signed all the paperwork and committed to the boys. We hurriedly started work on our dossier, met with the social worker to complete our home study, sent off the INS documents and waited for a finger print appointment.

Our Christmas was completely different last year than in all others. I didn't bake a single cookie...I hardly wrapped gifts and didn't deliver sugar cakes to the neighbors for their Christmas breakfasts. Who had time for festivities?? We were doing every thing possible to get our dossier to Liberia to beat governmental changes that were rumored to go into effect after the first of the year.

One afternoon, right after Christmas and after we'd mailed off the last of the many adoption documents, Brant came downstairs from where he'd been reading. He'd already volunteered to give up his bedroom for the new boys, but I wasn't at all prepared for what he was about to tell me and Drew. While doing some research on Liberia, Brant discovered that the small quilt hanging on his bedroom door---one that I'd bought for his room while we were living in Dallas in the 90's---was not, in fact, a folksy version of the Texas or early American flags. It was actually the flag of Liberia...and it had been flying proudly from Brant's door for the last ten years. What are the chances of that?? How could that possibly be?

I'm not a big fan of that saying, "It's a God thing," not because I don't believe it, just because I don't like the saying. No matter, NO ONE can tell me that this wasn't a God thing. Only, only God could have planned and orchestrated the events that led us to Amos and Kalee. God knew before I could even find Liberia on the globe that we would someday commit to bringing these two Liberian boys into our family.

So, no matter how down I get about the adoption delays or how discouraged I am by the lack of progress in the Liberian court system, I am always comforted by looking at the quilt hanging on what is now Amos's and Kalee's bedroom door. That Liberian flag reminds me that God knows what's meant to be...and that He has always and will continue always to orchestrate the details of my life...and the lives of all my boys...big and small...on both sides of the Atlantic.

Just get me started....

Typically, my husband, Drew, and I fight on only one day of the year. That's the day in early December when we write our annual Christmas card letter...together. It started as a quaint holiday tradition between newlyweds sipping hot chocolate in their pjs. Now? Well....it's....not.

I take full blame. I admit the problems arose when I began insisting each year that the letter open in just the right way.

"Just get me started, Drew" I say every December, "and I'll take it from there."

I guess I worry most about the tone. Our only communication all year with about a hundred people has to be...you know...upbeat, but not annoying, newsy...but not boring. Plenty witty. Plenty funny. Year after year, I think the letter should convey just the right...every thing.

It's important to note here, that psychoanalysis would probably indicate I have control issues and am some sort of a perfectionist. Our master shower would absolutely indicate otherwise. But at any rate, I do want the Christmas letter at least to be perfect, even if our lives are not. Drew just wants the letter DONE.

We're different like that. Or "complimentary" as we like to tell ourselves.

Anyway......you can imagine when I told Drew that I was going to start writing a blog to keep folks updated on our family happenings and the progress of our Liberian adoption, he was nervously less-than-enthused. Actually, I think he said something like, "You? You're kidding me, right?" in a very cranky tone of voice.

Undaunted, nevertheless, I sit here posting my first entry...I jumped right in with no hopes of perfectionism... am even writing it all by myself....no Drew necessary, today anyway. A year ago, I didn't know what a blog was....never mind that with that ignorance came a lot more sleep..I've come a long way!

Likewise, one year ago...I thought my family was complete. Life was good...had the shirt and every thing. I was happy and content. Little did I know that, an ocean away, there were two more boys whom God had deemed my sons.

Getting started....hmmmmm....could be a new theme for me, ya think? Maybe I can get the hang of it, yet.