Tuesday, January 27, 2009

We were so close...

Drew and I received word today that adoptions have been suspended in Liberia.  President Sirleaf's Monday address to her people below touches on the reasons why:

The gross mismanagement of the adoption program (which aims primarily at placing orphans in homes in the United States) by both Liberian and U.S. personnel in Non-Government Organizations is the subject of a report by a special committee which I appointed for this purpose.    Essentially, we have discovered that many of the children in these orphanages are not, in fact, orphans but children taken from their living parents on the promise of support and a good life in America.   Moreover, we found that young children were being sexually abused at some of these orphanages, while others---- including officials of government---- have used the program to extort money from potential adoptors.      We have thus suspended the adoption program until laws, policies and proper guidelines have been established and we have asked our concerned friends and partners in the United States to be patient as we try to correct the serious malpractices which exist.      We expect the National Social Welfare Policy and National Adoption Act,  which will be submitted to you during the course of the year, will provide guidance and prevent such abuses in the future.

Every thing we have been told indicates that our agency operates above reproach and it is not under any sort of investigation for wrongdoing----our director is even doing her best to put a positive spin on this suspension.  Those of us waiting parents have been told what a GOOD thing this is for the protection of our children and how waiting for new laws to be enacted will prevent child trafficking or other abuses in the future.  Our director believes our agency is being used to expose darkness and evil and corruption in Liberia....that we're privileged to have been chosen for this job.

My brain hears her.  It all sounds completely reasonable enough.  If I suspend reality for a little while and put aside the agonizing fact that Amos and Kalee have been waiting in the orphanage 18 months....AND if I manage for a moment to get beyond the image of our dossier finally landing (in December!) on the desk of the social worker charged with writing up this last document of approval that we need....AND if I ignore the idea that it was our own agency's complaint of corruption (however correct) that was probably the one, last and final straw that broke the Liberian-adoption camel's back last week.....THEN my brain is able to hear her and I can get on board with what she's saying.

But my heart is a different story.  My heart just wants my little boys home.  My heart wants to do any thing......any...any.....ANY thing.  My heart can justify any thing, promise any thing, say any thing, maybe even pay any thing----to get them here. 

And....really, if I'm honest....my heart questions why God just won't finish this thing for me when I was acting in obedience to pursue it in the first place.   Dadgummit, my heart hurts.  And my heart is having a hard time believing that any thing that keeps Amos and Kalee in that orphanage for even one more day could ever be a GOOD thing.


jena said...

My heart is hurting for you friend.

This was beautifully written.



Stephanie said...

My heart is hurting too for the Dixon's here and the Dixon's still in Africa. I can only imagine what you all must be feeling, and will be praying fervently for God's will to be done.


Brandi said...

Kelly, you wrote that so well. That struggle of how can it be good and hurt so bad. Thank you for being so vulnerable, it shows us how to pray for you.

Know that we are aching for you. . .I'm so sorry.


Christi said...

I am so, so sorry my friend. This is the worst rollercoaster ride ever. I agree. Things just are not fair, and they are not right. There is not a lot of GOOD that can be found here. Not right this minute anyway. Good can come later. These kids need to be home now. We am praying for you and our other friends still waiting. God loves these boys and knows that you love them too. Hang in there. Love ya girl!

Christi said...

Okay, so that was supposed to read we ARE praying, not we AM praying. We speak Texan, but that was way off! :)

kyle said...

so sorry to hear about this. Praying for you all.


Anonymous said...

I have tears. I so understand.