Tuesday, January 27, 2009

We were so close...

Drew and I received word today that adoptions have been suspended in Liberia.  President Sirleaf's Monday address to her people below touches on the reasons why:

The gross mismanagement of the adoption program (which aims primarily at placing orphans in homes in the United States) by both Liberian and U.S. personnel in Non-Government Organizations is the subject of a report by a special committee which I appointed for this purpose.    Essentially, we have discovered that many of the children in these orphanages are not, in fact, orphans but children taken from their living parents on the promise of support and a good life in America.   Moreover, we found that young children were being sexually abused at some of these orphanages, while others---- including officials of government---- have used the program to extort money from potential adoptors.      We have thus suspended the adoption program until laws, policies and proper guidelines have been established and we have asked our concerned friends and partners in the United States to be patient as we try to correct the serious malpractices which exist.      We expect the National Social Welfare Policy and National Adoption Act,  which will be submitted to you during the course of the year, will provide guidance and prevent such abuses in the future.

Every thing we have been told indicates that our agency operates above reproach and it is not under any sort of investigation for wrongdoing----our director is even doing her best to put a positive spin on this suspension.  Those of us waiting parents have been told what a GOOD thing this is for the protection of our children and how waiting for new laws to be enacted will prevent child trafficking or other abuses in the future.  Our director believes our agency is being used to expose darkness and evil and corruption in Liberia....that we're privileged to have been chosen for this job.

My brain hears her.  It all sounds completely reasonable enough.  If I suspend reality for a little while and put aside the agonizing fact that Amos and Kalee have been waiting in the orphanage 18 months....AND if I manage for a moment to get beyond the image of our dossier finally landing (in December!) on the desk of the social worker charged with writing up this last document of approval that we need....AND if I ignore the idea that it was our own agency's complaint of corruption (however correct) that was probably the one, last and final straw that broke the Liberian-adoption camel's back last week.....THEN my brain is able to hear her and I can get on board with what she's saying.

But my heart is a different story.  My heart just wants my little boys home.  My heart wants to do any thing......any...any.....ANY thing.  My heart can justify any thing, promise any thing, say any thing, maybe even pay any thing----to get them here. 

And....really, if I'm honest....my heart questions why God just won't finish this thing for me when I was acting in obedience to pursue it in the first place.   Dadgummit, my heart hurts.  And my heart is having a hard time believing that any thing that keeps Amos and Kalee in that orphanage for even one more day could ever be a GOOD thing.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

That's a lot of candles...

Drew says all he wants for his birthday is his Africans.

Not sure that new iPod will measure up.....but hope you can have a happy 41st anyway, Drewbie.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Monday, January 12, 2009

House Divided


UNC 89   Wake Forest 92

Heels drop to 0-2 in conference play

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My name is Kelly and.....

....I'm addicted to the internet.

THERE.     I said it.   The new year has got me all introspective.......   

It seems that between the crashing and burning of our old computer before Christmas and all our crazy holiday travel and spotty wi-fi connections along the way, I've come to realize that I like being online.      A LOT.        And I don't like going without email access.....NOT ONE BIT.   So could I have some sort of problem???   

Drew votes yes.  Emphatically.    He likens this to my Afrin addiction of 1995.  

Yes...seriously, you read that right.  Embarrassing as it is to admit, I WAS addicted to Afrin nasal spray for about 6 months.  It started innocently enough...we were in Dallas.....I was pregnant with Will, got sick and the doc recommended I try Afrin for a few days to help my congestion.   Little did I know that after more than a few days, your body becomes addicted and your sinuses go haywire---completely dependent on your giving them MORE Afrin.

I can hear you snickering out there---what a silly, suburban, goofball thing to be addicted to, but I have to admit.....things got a little weird after a few weeks.   I couldn't live without the stuff.  I would get super congested if I didn't use it and the relief was amazing when I did use it, so I got caught in a vicious cycle over months and months.   Got to where I even felt panicky if I didn't have an Afrin bottle with me at all times.....hid it in the glove box, had it upstairs, downstairs.   I smile when I think about having to stop for a bottle on the way home from the Mesquite Rodeo one time.

Drew didn't think it was funny.  AT ALL.  He staged his own form of an intervention and this was back when we didn't even know what an intervention was....but anyway, he did it....with love and concern and only a little disdainful sneering.

At any rate, I went cold turkey.   Pulled an all-nighter to get over it...and this addictive personality has never touched the stuff again.    

Now...this internet problem of mine is a whole nother issue raising all sorts of questions in my head.    

Me, scared: "Might I really be addicted to hitting send and receive?"    
Me, feeling guilty:   "What else would I/could I/should I being doing with my time???"
Me in denial:  "What's wrong with checking email just one more time before I get dressed/brush my teeth/carpool/eat lunch/carpool/walk the dog/cook dinner/walk the dog/brush my teeth/go to bed? Huh?  Huh?"

Yeah, well....I'm looking at myself...and my internet issues in 2009.

In the meantime, like Drew always says, it's probably a good thing I've never smoked crack!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy new year!

Had to break down and look up a translation of  "auld lang syne" for the occasion.  Turns out the Robert Burns poem later set to music is a tribute to "the old long ago."     

Heck, if I could remember my old long ago...I'd make a toast too!   

My guys and I are off to New York later today and I can hardly wait.  Drew completely surprised me on our anniversary with plans for this trip and we decided to let the boys tag along since Will and Jay have never seen NYC and Brant doesn't remember his early years as a big-city, bagel-eating, grass-fearing urban boy.

I seriously think this is going to be a great trip.....what's a little snow blowing in on 40-mph winds, huh??   

So, to the Big Apple...and to a slowing of my brain atrophy in 2009----